Fighting in Church

Mike Bill, Senior Pastor

Did Paul follow his own advice? Did he “practice what he preached?”

Yesterday we spoke about conflict in our morning worship service. Where Paul was, there was conflict. He was either picking a fight, bringing peace to disgruntled parties, or advising churches on how to live peaceably with one another. The New Testament church was not the picture of perfection, harmony, and agreement.
 
I find it interesting that the same man who wrote this…
“be kind to everyone, patiently endure evil, and correct our opponents with gentleness” (2 Timothy 2:24-25a)
Was also the same guy who wrote this…
“stay away from Alexander the Coppersmith who did me great harm.” (2 Timothy 4:14)
And also this…
“ When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned“ (Galatians 2:11)

Were Paul’s instructions to love, forgive, bear with one another, show patience, and be kind just for other people?

Did Paul “get a pass” because he was an apostle, called and sent by God for a special purpose?
Or is it possible to engage in conflict, stand up for truth, and hold people accountable in a way that is loving, patient, kind, and Christlike? We have to continue to learn how do this well! I wanted to share a couple of quick ideas that we did not have time to include in yesterday’s message. 

1. Beware of the disparity between the “Digital You” and the “In-person You.” It’s easy to post, share, react, and comment when you don’t have to face the person. It’s easier because we don’t have to look the other person in the eye, learn their story, and process through how they got to their position or opinion. We reduce people and ideas to quick and simple soundbites to which we can react. The problem is this: rarely do we make a difference through this kind of interaction. We make statements that make us feel better, but do we really make a difference?
2. Take a stand, but be known more for what you are “For” than what you are “Against.” Carey Nieuwhof says it this way: “being opposed to some things is normal. Being opposed to everything is dysfunctional and destructive.” The problem is that our world is so polarized that we feel the need to take an “All in” or “All out” stand for/against everything. There is no room for thought, conversation, and movement. We build our life and our opinions based on the list of things we are against instead of what and who we are for.
3. Start to fix it, even if you can’t fix it immediately (or perhaps ever). Sometimes we have hurts and regrets…wrongs we wish we could make right. The problem is that there is so much water under the bridge…so much ground to make up…too many layers to the issue. So we do nothing. Because I can’t fix it today, I wait till tomorrow. But tomorrow is no different. It pains me as a pastor to see how many good, faithful, and kind-hearted Christians are content to keep broken relationships and old wounds inside of their lives. Their answers: “what’s the use?’ “That will never change.” “I’ve tried before and it’s pointless.” You simply have to start. One simple action, perhaps just one simple prayer…maybe one note, perhaps one phone call. If you want a different reality five years from now, you have to do something different today.

Any conflicts in your life today, old or new…big or small? Pick one and ask Jesus to direct your steps.

Is there one area of your life where you find yourself slipping? Maybe ask God to help you there.
The world is watching.  Let’s give them a far different picture than what they see in every other aspect of society…people who are willing to choose others over themselves…making a difference over making a statement…being kind over being right. Conflict is inevitable…but let’s just do it a little bit better!